you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
