she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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