I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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