but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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