i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
