hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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