I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
and she was petting her beer can
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
