He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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