Tell her she can't have a vagina
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize