come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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