White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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