sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
