i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize