I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
