The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
