I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
