guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
