you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
