just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
