I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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