wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
