How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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