I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
