He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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