the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Mom said you looked used
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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