like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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