I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
