if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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