i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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