4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize