I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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