She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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