when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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