I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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