Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
