im gay
i know
yea but for you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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