I have demons in me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
