That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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