dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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