he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dignity is for republicans.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
