I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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