Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
