good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
