I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
