Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
