I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
