I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
