D3 body, D1 cock
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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