i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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