If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My dick has a subreddit
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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