in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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