I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
