I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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