he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
