yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
