I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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