I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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