Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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